Misfit Cannonball Run!
by L1701E
Summary: Chapter 12 up! Complete! The East and West Coast Misfits participate in a cross-country car race! Suggestions needed badly! RR Please!
1. Plans and Invitations!

Misfit Cannonball Run!  
  
Hey Folks! L1701E here! I was looking for inspiration for my next fic when I was surfing the channels. The movie "Cannonball Run II" came on and I was hit with a lightning bolt of inspiration! Do a wild cross-country race with our favorite teams of rag-tag mutants, the East and West Coast Misfits!  
  
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel except those created by me. Enjoy. I don't own the rights to either of the Cannonball Run movies, but I would like to own a copy of them on tape or DVD. They are so funny! X-MEN EVO IS BACK ON CARTOON NETWORK!!!!!! WHOO-HOO!!! BTW, does anyone know how to make italics and bold appear on the screen? I can't do it!  
  
Author's Note: I'm really going to need help and suggestions for this one! So if anyone has any ideas, any ideas, please bring them in in reviews! PLEASE!!!!!  
  
To Red Witch: Hey Red Witch, you forgot to review the final chapter of "Armor Attack"! Yup! Anyway, here's a brand new story filled with madness and mayhem for you! Enjoy!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Yep, Rictor has now joined the West Coast Misfits! I hope you like this new story I cooked up! Your idea of Hank the nudist? I'm still thinking about it! It's tough though. I also do like your idea of the West Coast Misfits facing off against the Sinister Seven. Who knows? It may happen. Enjoy this new story!  
  
To Metal Dragon1: Trust me, you do not want to know what Jester, Firestorm and Gunbarrel did to Hardcase. It was not pretty. Not pretty at all. I thought the "Bite ME" line was funny, too. I read the newest chapter of "Take the Long Way Home" and I loved it! Put of the rest of the fight soon! NOW!!!!! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!! Enjoy this new story!  
  
To Aaron: I'm glad you liked the fights, and my Evo version of Rictor. I figured that they Evo-tized most of the New Mutants, so Rictor should go next. I could imagine Rictor being friends with Velocity and Thunderbolt. Enjoy this new story!  
  
To Wizard1: Yeah, everyone asked me if Hardcase had his own little buddy as well, and I just had to oblige. It is funny that the Canadians spell like the English. I'm half-English myself. Oh trust me on this, Virus has gone *NUTS* with rage. He's been trashing my mind, screaming about it all day long! He is really miffed at the fact a normal human beat him at his own game (Virus: THAT MOTHER $%@*^#(*@^#!^#^@&^&$ IRON MAN!!!!! $^*^$#*&@^$(!!!!!!!! @$U#U$#($&#&%#@*#(!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! $&#^#&%^%@^%! IRON MAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!) I figured ol' Rictor would fit in well with the West Coast Misfits. When will they find out about Rictor's real past? Not any time soon. Enjoy this new madness I cooked up!  
  
Chapter 1: Plans and Invitations!  
  
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(The country of Sharbeen, in the Middle East)  
  
In a beautiful palace, a sheik with graying hair was talking with another sheik that looked like the first, only in his mid-twenties. The elder sheik was the King of Sharbeen, King Abdul, and the younger sheik was his son, the Master of the Deserts, the Prince of Princes, Prince Pasha Abdul.  
  
"What is this 'Cannonball Run' business?" King Abdul grumbled, pinching his nose with his fingers in annoyance.  
  
"The Cannonball Run is a car race across the United States of America." Prince Pasha replied. "It goes from California to Connecticut. They do it once every year."  
  
"I thought it went to Texas." King Abdul replied.  
  
"They changed it in recent years." Prince Abdul replied. "I love the American car races." The Prince grinned happily. "The colorful cars, the wild characters, the women..." Prince Abdul drooled. He was infamous for his womanizing, which annoyed his father. "Women...women...women...women..."  
  
"WILL YOU STOP THAT, YOU EVER-HORNY FOOL!?!?" King Abdul snapped at the top of his voice.  
  
"Sorry, father." Prince Pasha whimpered weakly.  
  
"Look, what kind of wacky weed makes you believe I'd finance this 'Cannonball Run' business?" King Abdul groaned. "I need a drink." The monarch walked over to a mini-bar and poured himself a glass of brandy.  
  
"I don't smoke, father." Prince Abdul pinched his arm. "I know! We can do a specially-themed run this year!"  
  
"In 1994, they tried using mimes as drivers. What a disaster that turned out to be." King Abdul chuckled. "What do you plan now? Having a bunch of mutants race?" He turned and saw the gleam in his son's eyes. "Oh shoot. I did it again."  
  
"YEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! An all-mutant Cannonball Run! The first of its kind!" The Prince of Princes grinned.  
  
"And who do you think will be dumb enough to race in that? Those Misfit guys in America?" King Abdul laughed sarcastically. He stopped when he saw the gleam in his son's eyes grow. "Aw crud, my wife was right. I do need to learn when to shut my big mouth."  
  
"Yes! The ultimate mutant race!" Prince Abdul grinned wildly, jumping up and down. "The East Coast and West Coast Misfits battling it out to determine the greatest driver!"  
  
"I doubt all of them have licenses." King Abdul laughed.  
  
"No big deal. It's not like the Cannonball Run is legal anyhow." Prince Abdul chuckled. "The highway policemen in America are getting ready."  
  
"The Misfit teams work for the American government. Do you have any clue what might happen if they do this?" King Abdul groaned.  
  
"Oh, I can call on your old friend from the military. The one who saved your life all those years ago..." Prince Pasha grinned.  
  
"Oh no..." King Pasha moaned. He started chugging the brandy from the bottle. "I am one dead king now."  
  
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(The Pit)  
  
"Hey!" Cover Girl walked into the Misfit Clubhouse. Lila and Jake were playing two-on-two basketball with Xi and Pietro, Wanda and Craig were playing pool, Todd and Althea were watching TV, Fred was raiding the fridge, John was writing a sequel to his novel, and Trinity were in the lab upstairs. As a result, none of the other Misfits wanted to go up there.  
  
"Talk to us!" Lila replied. "Ow!" The basketball rebounded off her head.  
  
"Oops!" Pietro whimpered under Lila's death glare. "Sorry."  
  
"Why I oughta--!" Lila raised her fist, ready to knock Pietro's head off, when the other Misfits coughed. The rocker put her fist down. "You got lucky, Maximoff."  
  
"Look at this!" Cover Girl gave the Misfits the telegram. The mutants read it.  
  
"Hoo boy." Lance groaned.  
  
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(Malibu Base)  
  
"It has coordinates, and an invitation." Siryn noted, handing the telegram to Kicker. The West Coast Misfits were gathered in Whithalf's office.  
  
"I know." Whithalf grinned. "I saved King Abdul of Sharbeen's life once. Been friends ever since. His son's a party animal. Evidently wants you to participate in a car race. One million American dollars to the winner." The slightly insane general started laughing. "Sounds like fun!"  
  
"I think we're in big trouble, Athena." Ace whispered to X23. The Wolverine clone nodded.  
  
"Is there a chance Whithalf is retiring soon?" X23 wondered. Ace shook his head. "We are in trouble. Big trouble."  
  
Looks like the Misfit teams are going to go a-racin'! What madness will happen? How will they be partnered up? What cars or assorted vehicles will they drive? Find out in the next chapter! 


	2. Rides Revealed!

Misfit Cannonball Run!  
  
To Wizard1: Yep, A Misfit-style car race across our great nation! It will be good. As for Kelly torture, well, I'll see what I can do. It's a big country and a long race, so you never know. Yeah, Todd and Althea did threaten me, so I really have no choice. I got my own pairings and some ideas for appropriate vehicles. BTW, WHEN IS CHAPTER THREE OF KAREOKE DANCE PARTY COMING UP?!?!?!?!?! I WANNA SEE IT!!!!! NOW!!!!!!! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
To Aaron: Yeah, I loved the Cannonball Run movies, too. Actually, in CR II, 3/5 of the Rat Pack appeared: Sammy Davis Jr., Dean Martin, and Frank Sinatra. You'll like the vehicles they appear in. Will JJ and Captain Chaos appear? Well...*smirks* Maybe they will, maybe they won't. Will the X-Men be in it? Maybe they will, maybe they won't. Who knows.  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Glad you like the story so far. I thought it would be funny to see Lila threaten to knock Pietro's head off. I did get your e- mail, and I read your profile of Carmella. She sounds like a fun character! I may introduce her down the line. I think Prince Abdul is a little old for the Misfit girls. West Coast/East Coast Misfit rivalries? Maybe, you never know. Whithalf trouble? Well, we'll see. Hardcase and Beach Head torture? Oh, I'll see what I can do.  
  
To Red Witch: Who's getting the ambulance? Well, I haven't seen the first Cannonball Run movie in years, so I don't really remember it. Oh yes, this will be good. FF.net has been giving you trouble? Huh. I haven't really had any problems. Hope you can keep on reading and reviewing! Here's some more madness for you! Enjoy!  
  
To Metal Dragon1: Firestorm's jeep? Well, I do have ideas for vehicles already, but thanks anyway for the suggestions. I hope you put up the next chapter quickly. I can't wait to see more Kid Razor/X-Men interaction. I wonder how the X-Men will react when they find out Razor's powers came from magic, not from any mutancy. And I'd love to see Razor make jokes about Scott and tick him off. Not to mention try and get away from Jubilee. This'll be great! Enjoy the madness I brought for you!  
  
Chapter 2: Rides Revealed!  
  
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(Unknown location, a desert somewhere in California)  
  
The Misfits of both coasts alongside their handlers drove into the sands, heading to the coordinates in the telegrams.  
  
"SOMEONE SHUT THEM UP!!!!" Hardcase yelled from behind the driver's seat.  
  
"MAKE IT STOP!!! MAKE IT STO-HAW-HOP!!!!" Beach Head whined, covering his ears. They were in front of the bus. The two Misfit teams decided to sing "1,000 Bottles of Beer on the Wall" the whole way there. And to make things worse for the two Joes, Kicker, Jester, Shipwreck, and Cover Girl were singing along.  
  
"50 bottles of beer on the wall/50 bottles of beer/Take one down and pass it around..." The gang sang out loud.  
  
"ALRIGHT THAT'S IT!!!!!" Beach Head roared, silencing the group. "THE NEXT ONE OF YOU THAT SINGS IS GOING TO GET HIS OR HER BUTT KICKED!!!!" The kids and Joes sat and blinked for a couple seconds, until Jester decided to pull a prank. He pulled a device out of his belt. It was a voice changer.  
  
"Take one down and pass it around/There are 49 bottles of beer on the wall..." Jester sang, using the voice changer to imitate Pietro.  
  
"RAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Beach Head's eyes turned bright red and he pounced, wailing on the silver-haired speedster.  
  
"WAAAAH!!!! OW OOH OH OWWWW OH GOD NO OWWWW THAT HURTS!!!!! WAHHHHHH MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!" Pietro screamed in his trademark girlish manner. "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELP!!!!!!!!!" A laughing Lila high-fived Jester.  
  
"That's what you get when you mess with Lila Cheney." Lila laughed.  
  
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(A half-hour later)  
  
"This is it?" Ace noticed that the coordinates revealed a big warehouse.  
  
"Ahoy!" Trinity floated up to the heroes. "The vehicles are ready." The Misfit teams walked to the warehouse. When they opened the doors, the light revealed a fleet of shiny cars.  
  
"Aw sweet!" Terrell drooled.  
  
"Carrrrrrrr..." Ace grinned. He noticed his own blue Ferrari among them, now with silver-and-black flames licking the hood and sides, as well as a new rear spoiler. The others murmured among themselves.  
  
"I see you like them. The girls are geniuses." Whithalf, and the Prince and King of Sharbeen walked into the light.  
  
"Each of you will take teams of two and race from here to these co- ordinates." Prince Pasha laughed as he handed out the co-ordinates.  
  
"These coordinates are in Connecticut." Althea realized.  
  
"Hey, Athena and I will take my car!" Ace and X23 sat on his blue Ferrari.  
  
"Hey Randy, how about you and I take this Ford Avalanche?" Lance chuckled as he walked up to a brown Ford Avalanche truck that looked heavily souped up.  
  
"Cool, man!" Rictor grinned.  
  
"Ooh, lordy! Look at this!" Velocity looked over a car that looked like a cross between a white F-1 racer and sedan with blue, black, and silver highlights.  
  
"We'll take this one!" Pietro smiled.  
  
"Hey, look Thunderbird!" Blob pointed at a futuristic black semi. "We got this one!"  
  
"I like this truck." John Proudstar laughed.  
  
"Ooh, a 1976 Corvette!" Alison and Lila squealed. The car was gold with blue highlights. "Let's do this!"  
  
"Aw man! Hey Toshi! Let's take this here Dodge Firebird!" Pyro waved. Sunfire sighed.  
  
"Might as well." The Japanese boy groaned.  
  
"Hey look at this, honey!" Toad walked Althea to a sea-green limo. "A limo."  
  
"Thanks Trinity!" Al's eyes glazed over.  
  
"Hey baby bro, look at this car!" Jake pointed at a black Porsche decorated with red flames and yellow lightning bolts.  
  
"The Thunderbolt likes this car." Kyle grinned.  
  
"Hey Craig! Check this!" Paul pointed at a purple DeLorean.  
  
"I'll come." Craig nodded.  
  
"But Craig, you said you be my co-driver!" Wanda whined jokingly. The other East Coast Misfits snickered.  
  
"Shut up!" Craig snapped.  
  
"We'll ride with ye, Wanda. It's an odd number of kids we got anyway." Theresa and Rahne said.  
  
"Actually, I will be Wanda's co-driver." Xi offered.  
  
"Sorry, Xi. Didn't see ya." Theresa grinned. "You really have to stop being invisible all the time." Wanda and Xi walked to a red Lamborghini Countach.  
  
"Your majesty, why are you financing this race?" Kicker wondered.  
  
"Well, my son is obsessed with the Cannonball Run, and he hoped this would help revive it." King Abdul groaned. "Anybody got any rum?"  
  
"I'm sure you'll enjoy this race, ma'am." Prince Abdul leered at Kicker, making the martial artist respond with a death glare.  
  
"Keep your eyes and hands to yourself."  
  
"Personally, I'd be eternally grateful if you'd...how do you Americans say it...whoop his butt for me." King Abdul chuckled.  
  
"Faaaaaatherrrrr!" Prince Abdul whined.  
  
"He keeps looking at either of us like that, he'll get it alright." Cover Girl glared at the prince.  
  
"Let's just get this over with." Hardcase grumbled.  
  
Well, the race is about to begin! How will the race go? Where is the gang going to be driving to? How will the race go? What madness will happen? Will there be any drunken Soctsmen? Find out in the next chapter! 


	3. Race Starts and Complications!

Misfit Cannonball Run!  
  
To Wizard1: Well, I see you are a huge fan of drunken Scotsmen. So, you want to see the Misfit Cannonball Run get quite a lot of attention? Well, we'll see about that. How long before the pairs start to drive each other crazy? Well, we'll see, but knowing these groups, it will not be long before they start trying to kill each other. Yeah, the cars were modified by the Triplets. I would not be surprised if those things were packing nuclear weapons! They never tell me anything.  
  
To Goofn1: Good to hear from you! It's been a long time! So, you hope Lance and Randy win the race, huh? Well, not even I know who'll win this race, and I'm writing this thing! Well, there are a lot of racers, and they want attention too, but I'll see what I can do.  
  
To Red Witch: I'm glad you like this story. I do hope to include plenty of drunken Scotsmen. I read the last couple of chapters of "I Hate New People". I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe it at all. Foxfire's been having many a laugh at Kitty's expense.  
  
Author's Note: The opinions of Foxfire are strictly those of Foxfire's and do not reflect anyone else's. Thank You.  
  
Chapter 3: Race Starts and Complications!  
  
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(Unknown Desert)  
  
"Let the race begin!" Prince Abdul grinned happily, firing a pistol in the air with a BLAM!!! The cars drove off.  
  
"Good Luck!" Kicker waved. Lady Jaye activated her Joe-Com.  
  
"Wild Bill, Scoop, get the chopper and remote cameras." Lady Jaye ordered. She had these made by Airtight to watch over the kids in case anything happened to them on the road.  
  
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(X-Mansion)  
  
"Oh boy Oh boy Oh boy Oh boy!" The seven X-Girls squealed as they ran to the couch, carrying huge bowls of popcorn and sodas. Many of the teen X-Men were sitting around the TV, tuned to the Joe network. Quick-Kick's face appeared on the screen.  
  
"Godd evening and welcome to the Misfit Cannonball Run! I'm Quick-Kick, your play-by-play, my assistant Jinx..." Quick-Kick motioned to Jinx, who was wearing a Chris Benoit t-shirt Jake gave her for Christmas (If you're a wrestling fan, you'd get why Jinx'd wear a Chris Benoit shirt), who blew a kiss to Logan through TV. "And out special guest, our color commentator, Jesse D!" The DJ cousin of Shipwreck waved.  
  
"Hey dudes!" He grinned.  
  
"Hey, he's the dude who's dating your mom, right?" Fox asked Kitty.  
  
"Yeah." Kitty replied.  
  
"How's your dad?" Fox laughed. "Did he move to--"  
  
"Not one word, Fox." Kitty glared. "I don't want to hear any jokes from you about my dad, okay?"  
  
"What?" Fox asked innocently.  
  
"I've been hearing the jokes from you ever since you found out about him, so shut it!" Kitty snapped.  
  
"What?!" Fox asked like the things he said about Kitty's father were no big deal.  
  
"Well, this is shaping up to be one interesting race with our own East Coast Misfits from Florida, and the West Coast Misfits from California. Jesse, what do you think of this race? Who has the biggest advantage?" Jinx asked Jesse. The DJ thought it over.  
  
"Hey Kitty, suppose he ends up dumping your AAAGH!!!!" Fox got punched out by Peter before he could finish the joke. "Watch the jaw, you Ruskie retard! This jaw is considered one of the modern Wonders of the World!"  
  
"Will you keep your big mouth shut for once in your stupid life, Fox?!?!?!?!" Kitty snapped.  
  
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(Las Vegas)  
  
A group consisting of the heads of Vegas's five crime families were sitting at a table in the booth of a fancy restaurant. The man who held the meeting was a large Marlon Brando look-alike named Rico Keyes, or as he was known in the crime world, Don Keyes.  
  
"Alright, boys." Don Keyes said. "Now we have met because the Prince of Sharbeen owe us a combined amount of...uh..."  
  
"$1,000,000, Don Keyes." A man in a purple cheese cutter, and matching purple, black, and yellow suit replied.  
  
"Yes, well, he's offering $1,000,000 to the winner of the Misfit Cannonball Run." Don Keyes said. He waved his hand in fron of the face of the white cat on his lap. "Sheesh. Bad cat breath. Anyway, the Prince is driving to Connecticut with the money."  
  
"No problem, boss." A man in a blue suit said to Don Keyes. "I got two of my best men on it. The best at retrieval. If they can't get it, no one can."  
  
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(A road in California)  
  
The heroes drove all in different directions. They could take any way they wanted except on Route 66, because it was the fastest way across half a country, and the Prince wanted to challenge the kids. Luckily, their cars had GPS. Lila and Alison were riding alongside the beach, and they began arguing.  
  
"I want to listen to this station!" Ali snapped, turning the car radio to a radio station that was playing Donna Summer.  
  
"Donna Summer's for hippies!" Lila snapped back, fiddling with the radio again until some ZZ Top played. "Now that's music! Nothing like some good ol' fashioned Texas blues!"  
  
"ZZ Top's for rednecks!" Ali yelled.  
  
"How dare you disrespect the members of ZZ Top!" Lila roared.  
  
"Punk Rock Reject!" Ali snapped.  
  
"Disco Queen!"  
  
"You are a clown in studs!"  
  
"Disco is for losers that can't get a date!"  
  
"Rock is for people who have nothing better to listen to!"  
  
"If I wasn't driving this car, I'd knock your disco-ball-earring wearing head off, Dazzler!" Lila snapped.  
  
"Lila, watch it!" Dazzler screamed.  
  
"Oh no!" Lila swerved. She had driven on the sidewalk, and nearly ran over a pushcart. In her swerve, she ran over a certain senator.  
  
"AAAAAGH!!!!!!" Senator Kelly screamed as his collision knocked him into the air, and caused him to fly into the pushcart Lila avoided. "OWWWWW!!!!!" The lady at the pushcart screamed in Italian and started smacking the senator. "HEY!!!! OWCH!!!! AAAGH!!!! HELP!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! WAHHHH, I HATE MY LIFE!!!!! HELP ME!!!!"  
  
"Man, that was close. Phew!" Lila wiped some sweat from her brow.  
  
"Let's not listen to the radio." Dazzler sighed.  
  
"Good idea. Good thing you caught that in time." Lila complimented.  
  
"Yeah. My whole life just flashed before my eyes." Dazzler moaned.  
  
Well, the race has started with a BANG!!!! What'll happen next? Where will the gang go? What insanity will happen? Who are the two men pursuing the Prince? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	4. Road Rage!

Misfit Cannonball Run!  
  
To Wizard1: Well, I guess you do have a point about the way I write the drunken Scotsmen. I dunno if I can agree with you about Trinity. A part of me is happy not knowing what Trinity's up to, but a part of me is worried about what possibilities will unfold thanks to them. Yeah, Fox doesn't know when to keep his big mouth shut. He's so full of himself. The Prince of Princes meeting Ororo. Oh, I doubt she'll need help kicking his buttski. Well, will the Don's men run into our heroes? Well, who knows? Let's find out! BTW, WHEN IS CHAPTER THREE OF "KAREOKE DANCE PARTY" COMING OUT?!?!?!?!? PUT IT UP!!!!!!!!  
  
To Red Witch: I'm glad you liked the Kelly torture! The guy seriously needs to be tortured. You're going on vacation? I hope you put up more chapters before you leave.  
  
To Raliena: You're back! Yay! I'm glad you like this story. Have I ever heard of Knight Rider? I love that show! KITT rules! I once went to a car show and saw KITT. It was neat! Unfortunately, I never know when it's on anymore! My favorite episode is the two-part episode where KITT took on Goliath, the invincible truck. That was awesome!  
  
To Aaron: I'm glad you liked that story! The gang will be doing crazy stuff along the way to get the money, and as for the Prince himself, well, he's going on his own adventure. Yeah, some of the teams will have trouble getting along. Glad you liked the Don's name. Don Keyes. Heh heh. Actually, Jinx is wearing a Chris Benoit shirt because he's known as the Rabid Wolverine. Get it? Okay.  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Yeah, I think Toshi and St. John will have trouble getting along, especially when it comes to who's going to drive. Yeah, not everyone will get along during this whole thing. Whithalf and King Abdul wandering off? Well, we'll see.  
  
Chapter 4: Road Rage!  
  
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(Malibu, California)  
  
"Can't you do anything right?!" Toshi snapped at Pyro. St. John was trying to operate the onboard GPS of the Dodge Firebird Daria, Quinn, and Brittany modified for them.  
  
"Hey, you wouldn't let me drive, so at least let me try and work the GPS!" John whined.  
  
"Well, Allerdyce, you drive like roads are an option." Toshi grumbled.  
  
"Give me a break!" John groaned. "Roads are evil things!"  
  
"You nearly went through a restaurant!"  
  
"I was hungry!"  
  
"They had a drive thru!" Toshi snapped.  
  
"Drive-thrus are for wimps!"  
  
"No, they're there to make sure bakas like you don't destroy the building if you wished to grab your food while still in the car!"  
  
"Hey, a CB radio!" John grinned. Toshi blinked.  
  
"Neat. I heard you can talk to people all over the country on this thing. Try it." Toshi said curiously. John grinned as he turned it on.  
  
"Breaker Breaker, this is Fire King, come in, over." John grinned. He smiled at a puzzled Toshi. "I love those old 70s convoy shows." Toshiro muttered something in Japanese.  
  
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(Nearing the border to Nevada)  
  
"Breaker Breaker, this is Fire King, come in, over." Pyro's voice came over Siryn's CB Radio.  
  
"Neat! A real CB Radio!" Rahne grinned. She got the receiver. "Hello?"  
  
"Hi Rahne, over." John replied.  
  
"Why are ye saying over after everything?"  
  
"Duh, you have to say that on the radio, over."  
  
"Oh, sorry." Rahne said nervously. "Over." Siryn, who was driving, took the receiver.  
  
"This is Scream Queen, we hear ye, Fire King, over."  
  
"Where are ya now, over?"  
  
"Just about to enter Nevada, over." Siryn grinned. "Better hurry, over. Scream Queen out."  
  
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(Sacramento, California)  
  
"You jabroni! Why won't you let me drive?" Kyle pouted.  
  
"A) You're too young and B) The cops might catch us. And C) You might try to run over someone or crash!" Jake snapped.  
  
"Jake! Look out!" Kyle called.  
  
"AAAAAGHHHH!!!!!" Senator Kelly screamed as he flew into the air.  
  
"Now who's reckless?" Kyle crossed his arms, grinning at his older brother.  
  
"Oh shut up!" Jake grumbled.  
  
"Hey, 500 points if you hit that guy." Kyle grinned.  
  
"No!" Jake snapped.  
  
"We're only going 55!" Kyle whined. "You wuss! We'll never win!"  
  
"Kyle, I'm coming this close to tying you to the rear bumper and having the car drag you across the country." Jake groaned. Kyle stamped his foot on Jake's while it was on the gas pedal. "AAAAGH!!!!" The action caused Jake to put the pedal to the medal and the car to speed up. "KYYYYYYYYYYYYYLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Kyle Wildfire noticed the Hellions walking out of a wall. With an evil grin, he grabbed the steering wheel and mowed through them. Kyle stuck his head out the window.  
  
"THAT'S WHAT YA GET WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE WILDFIRE FAMILY, YA JABRONIES!!!!!!" Kyle laughed at the cursing Hellions.  
  
"Kyle, were those the Hellions?" Jake asked.  
  
"Heck yeah!" Kyle grinned. Jake swerved the car and turned it around. He drove through them again, before getting back on the road.  
  
"Too bad Frost wasn't with them. I'd love to have her splattered on the hood." Jake smirked.  
  
"You ain't the only one." Kyle laughed.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(At the Nevada border)  
  
Two men, in their late 30s, were standing at the side of the road at the Nevada border. One was clad in a purple suit with a black shirt and red tie and carrying a rope, and he other was clad in a gray suit with a blue shirt and white tie.  
  
"Okay, Abe." The purple-suited man said to the gray-suited man. "We tie this end of the rope to the billboard and then we hide here. We'll use the rope to stop the car the Prince is riding in, grab the money, then get away."  
  
"But Ron, what if something goes wrong?" The gray-suited man groaned.  
  
"Relax, nothing will." Ron replied.  
  
"How do we know what vehicle he's driving?" Abe asked.  
  
"Oh, we'll know." Ron smirked. He pointed at an ambulance approaching. Inside was the Prince and his co-driver, a drunken Scottish doctor who was inside at the time. "Okay, go! Go!" Abe ran to the billboard, and tied one end of the rope around it. He ran back to Ron, who hid in a bush. The two pulled the rope until it was taut. The car moved into the rope, but it didn't stop, and the rope was stretched until the billboard was pulled down, crushing the car of the two gangsters. The car with its oblivious passengers kept going.  
  
"My car!" Abe yelled.  
  
"Aw nuts!" Ron stomped the ground. "What in the world went wrong?!"  
  
Well, the race continues? Where will the gang go and what will happen? What insanity will occur next? Will anything get blown up? Will Senator Kelly get run over again? What are the X-Men's reactions? Find out in the next chapter! 


	5. Madness and Reunions!

Misfit Cannonball Run!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: I like the ideas for references to the Cannonball Run movies. I'll see what I can do. Glad you liked the Kelly and Hellion torture.  
  
To JCKIDSMART: You're back! Whoo-hoo! Good to see you again! I don't really understand what you mean by the stories getting shorter.  
  
To Aaron: Yeah, I laughed myself when I wrote that stuff. I can imagine Jake and Kyle doing the fist handshake after running the Hellions down. Let's just say Emma Frost messed with the wrong family. You wish to see an appearance by the legendary General Lee, eh? Well, I'll see what I can do.  
  
To Red Witch: Hooray! You're back! Love the new chapters of IHNP. Keep 'em up! I'll put up some more Ron and Abe torture.  
  
To Raliena: They're making a movie version of Knight Rider? Wow! I wonder if they'll bring in David Hasselhoff. I think they already made a couple Knight Rider movies. I loved "Wacky Races"! My favorite racers were Penelope Pitstop and the professor guy with the morphing car, and I loved seeing Dick Dastardly's plans blow up in his face. That was funny. I think he and Sidney Whiplash are related. They show Knight Rider on the Sci-Fi Channel, I think.  
  
To Becca: Glad to meet you and glad you like my stories! You're a Sunfire fan, huh? Yeah, I did read about his sister Sunpyre. I don't really know much about her, and I have no idea what she looks like, so I don't plan to bring her in. I'll see what I can do with Kelly torture.  
  
Chapter 5: Madness and Reunions!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Nevada)  
  
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" Terrell and Pietro whooped as their car raced down a desert road at an inhuman speed.  
  
"Man, this is awesome!" Terrell laughed.  
  
"Yeah!" Pietro agreed. The two raced past a cop car behind a billboard. The onboard radar read they were going at 170. Two cops were sitting in the car. One cop was a big sheriff in Oakleys. With him was a thin young cop who looked lacking in intelligence, his younger brother.  
  
"Okay boy, we got a speeder WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?" The sheriff roared. His younger brother put on a hood and cape that were blue and a silver necklace with a deputy's badge pendant.  
  
"The great hero Super Deputy comes to the rescue to punish the bad guys of the road!" The younger cop grinned. The sheriff groaned.  
  
"Man..." He grumbled as he started. "Just my luck I end up with a partner that's an idiot and the nephew of the Chief." The sheriff grumbled about kicking the Chief's butt up and down the state. The car raced after the two mutants.  
  
"Aw man!" Terrell whined as he saw the sheriff's car close in on his. "The cops!"  
  
"I wondered why the cops were chasing us. What'd we do?" Pietro wondered. "This car is slow."  
  
"No kidding." Terrell agreed.  
  
"Hey pull over!" The sheriff ordered over a megaphone. "Hey!"  
  
"This is Super Deputy! Fair citizen, I'd like to inform you that you are violating one of the sacred rules of the road. You are putting other people at risk with your reckless behavior! I would advise you to stop your vehicle. I do not wish to force my powers upon you."  
  
"Give me that, you stupid pile of sludge!" The sheriff's voice snapped. Terrell and Pietro looked at each other in confusion.  
  
"Super Deputy?" Terrell wondered. "What is that guy smokin'?" Pietro shrugged.  
  
"Sounds like it has interesting effects, though." The silver-haired speedster laughed. "Let's just pull over." The speedsters pulled over and laughed as a cop with a blue hood and cape ran to the car, whooshing like he was flying.  
  
"Oh, this oughta be good for a laugh." Terrell chuckled.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Out on the open road, in an ambulance)  
  
"I love this country!" Prince Abdul whooped. "Such nice people, such fantastic sights, and beautiful women practically grow on trees." He started drooling. "Women...women...women...women..." The drunk Scottish doctor sitting next to him prepared a syringe.  
  
"U-kay, dis should shoullllllld keep you awake oops." He accidentally injected himself and he started yawning. "Oh dis is duh sleeeeeeeeeepy..." He fell asleep. Outside, Abe and Ron were racing up to the ambulance, in a new car. This car had a pair of claws mounted on to the front bumper.  
  
"Okay, how does this work again?" Abe asked Ron. Ron slapped Abe.  
  
"Like this, dummy! We use the claws to grab the ambulance and make it move to a predetermined location. Then we beat up the prince, grab the money, and make like trees and leave! Okay, let's rock!" The claws grabbed the rear bumper of the ambulance. "Yes!" But the car suddenly swerved, ripping the front third of the gangsters' car off! "NO!! AW %&$^#!!!!"  
  
"Does this mean we didn't get him?" Abe wondered. Ron grabbed a wrench and socked his partner with it with a CLUNK. "OW!!!"  
  
"You are so dumb."  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Arizona)  
  
Blob and Thunderbird drove their rig through the Arizona desert.  
  
"Wow." Blob looked around. "This is one big place. Arizona's practically all desert."  
  
"Yeah. With the occasional reservation and city." John Proudstar replied. "Hey, what?" He noticed a young boy, who looked a little older than Kyle, around fourteen, and who looked a little like John, with. He stopped the rig.  
  
"What?" Blob asked.  
  
"James, what are you doing now!?" Thunderbird asked loudly at the boy looking around the road. "My little brother. He's always up to something." He explained to Blob. The Apache boy looked up and smiled.  
  
"John!" James ran to John, who walked out of the truck, and the brothers hugged. "I heard that a lion kid came here to meet you once, and I saw you on TV with a whole bunch of other kids."  
  
"You must be referring to my fellow West Coast Misfits. What're you doing here?" John replied.  
  
"Hunting insects." James grinned. He saw Blob walk up to him. "You're very big." James pointed at the large blond.  
  
"Fred Dukes. I'm a Misfit, too." Fred smiled.  
  
"I'm James Proudstar." James introduced himself. "John, can I be a Misfit too?" He asked.  
  
"Maybe." John chuckled. "What do you mean can you be a Misfit too?" James demonstrated something in front of a large rock. He punched the rock and it crumbled to pebbles.  
  
"Ooh boy." Fred shook his head. "I guess you're not the only Proudstar with super strength, Thunderbird." John sighed.  
  
"I guess so." John sighed.  
  
Well, this is interesting! What'll happen to little James Proudstar? What of the sheriff after Pietro and Terrell? What more madness will happen? What of the prince? Find out in the next chapter? Suggestions needed badly! 


	6. Utah Troubles and Copter Problems!

Misfit Cannonball Run!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Have the Misfits drive the sheriff crazy and befriend Super Deputy? Well, we'll see. I wanted to show the Misfits at different places, doing different things on the road. I hope you enjoy this brand spanking new chapter I whipped up for ya!  
  
To Red Witch: Glad you liked the chapter and the torture! Maybe Super Deputy will join Pietro and Terrell. Who knows. I am not that familiar with all the Marvel Comics characters? BTW, do you know anything about an X-Men storyline called Inferno? I've heard about it, but for some odd reason, my X-Men guide doesn't even mention it. I thought it was weird.  
  
To Raliena: Huh. Well, another Knight Rider movie. Who would've thought? I didn't.  
  
To Metal Dragon1: I think you're right about Don Keyes. He seriously needs to rethink his hiring policies. Glad you liked Super Deputy! I thought that'd be funny. James Proudstar is a character from the comics. He was a Hellion (He was known as Thunderbird, taking the codename and the costume from his late brother, and he joined the Hellions hoping to get revenge against the X-Men, who he blamed for John Proudstar's death), and is a member of X-Force. I heard Wizard1 say he wanted to see James sometime.  
  
To JCKIDSMART: *looks at the numbers* I don't get it. Glad you liked the fic! Hope you like this new chapter!  
  
To Wizard1: Yeah, I thought Super Deputy would bring in a few laughs. Well, I hope to have Ron and Abe meet some Misfits down the line. Glad you liked the appearance by James Proudstar. Will he be partnered with Theresa? Well, I imagine Theresa as around 16-17, and James is around 14, so maybe he'll have a crush on her. Oh yeah, and WHERE'S THE NEW CHAPTER OF KAREOKE DANCE PARTY?!?!?!?! PUT IT UP!!!!!! PUT IT UP NOW!!!!!! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chapter 6: Utah Troubles and Copter Problems!  
  
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(Salt Lake City, Utah)  
  
"Wow. Utah is nice." Lance noted as he and Rictor drove down Utah's capitol city.  
  
"I heard this place is Mormon Central." The Mexican mutant said.  
  
"Yeah. The Osmonds come from here, I think." Lance said. Randy burst out laughing.  
  
"Hey Lance, you now that song Donny and Marie sing? In it he says he a little bit of rock 'n' roll and he has a little bit of Motown in his soul?"  
  
"Yeah, so?" Lance said in a puzzled manner to a laughing Randy.  
  
"What does a Mormon know about rock 'n' roll and Motown?" Randy laughed. Lance shrugged.  
  
"I dunno. I didn't write the song." Lance said. "Hey a restaurant!" The two pulled in.  
  
"We got a race, man!" Rictor said loudly as Lance left the Ford Avalanche.  
  
"I'll just go in, get the food, and come back." Lance said in a reassuring voice. "Whatcha wanna eat?"  
  
"Get me a spicy burger! I mean SPICY!!!!" Rictor yelled as Lance entered the restaurant. "Hey wait for me, man!" When he walked in, the geokinetic and the sonic generator noticed it looked like an ordinary restaurant. They walked in and sat down. A pretty waitress walked up to the two mutants. She looked like an adult version of Kitty, a fact not lost on Lance and Randy.  
  
"That's not Kitty Pryde, man. No drooling." Randy chuckled at Lance.  
  
"What can I get you boys?" She asked.  
  
"Just a burger, Coke and fries." Lance shrugged.  
  
"Get me something spicy and a chocolate shake." Randy ordered. The waitress wrote down the orders and walked to a nearby booth. In it was a man who looked like a hobo. He was shaking, muttering, and he had a long dirty black coat on, a shaggy gray beard and a big black fedora.  
  
"Midder rrurd dar heeeee..." The hobo rocked in his seat.  
  
"Are you alright?" The waitress asked with concern. The hobo turned his head, and looked angrily at the girl. He grabbed her by the throat, making her scream, and he held up a rifle. The patrons screamed and Avalanche and Rictor jumped to their feet.  
  
"NoBOOOOOdy MoVe!!!" The hobo screamed like he was insane. "I WaNT thEEEEE UUUUUNIcorn! Bring me the Unicorn!!!"  
  
"Unicorn?" Lance whispered to Randy. Randy shrugged.  
  
"Unicorn! Unicorn!! UNICORRRRRRRRRRRRRNNNNNN!!!!!!" The hobo screamed. His back was turned to Lance and Randy. Big mistake. The two mutants slowly snuck up behind the insane hobo. "Hey what?! HORSE!!!" Lance grabbed the rifle barrel and forced it upwards, smacking the hobo in the face, and Rictor knocked him off his feet with a leg sweep. The patrons cheered.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Wyoming)  
  
Abe and Ron flew in a helicopter out from the mountains. The helicopter had what appeared to be an electromagnet attached to it.  
  
"Okay Abe, this magnet under the copter is going to catch the Prince's ambulance. Then, we can drop it and get the money!" Ron planned.  
  
"Sweet! This is foolproof!" Abe laughed. "Will this work for real?"  
  
"You bet!" Ron grinned. "Look!" He pointed at the ambulance. What sounded like a drunken Scotsman singing was heard blaring out of the car.  
  
"Oh I run 'round nekkid/through the Scottish field/Ready for battle/My sword I did wield..." The Scottish drunk doctor butchered.  
  
"My ears hurt." Abe whined.  
  
"WILL YOU STOP WITH THE SINGING!!!!! YOU MAKE NO SENSE!!!!" The Prince screamed.  
  
"Okay, let's do it!" Ron lowered the magnet as the helicopter hovered over the ambulance. The magnet managed to grab its target. "Yes! Okay, now let's bring him up! Now which lever does this?" Ron rooted around for the lever.  
  
"Uh, Ron?" Abe tapped Ron's shoulder.  
  
"Not now, you dope!" Ron snapped as he rooted. "Where's that freakin' button?"  
  
"Ron?"  
  
"Wait! I knew it was supposed to be here."  
  
"Ron?!"  
  
"Not now, you goofball! Man, I think I need to recheck the manual." Ron grumbled.  
  
"RON!!!!"  
  
"WHAT DO YOU WANT, YOU KNUCKLEHEAD!?!?!?!?!?" Ron shoved his face up in front of Abe's, a few veins popping out. A scared Abe pointed ahead of him. Ron turned and saw they were heading for a tunnel built into a mountain.  
  
"OH NO!!!!" The gangsters screamed. Ron tried to swerve, but the copter crashed. "YEEEEOWWWWCH!!!!!" They dropped the oblivious ambulance, which continued on.  
  
"Ahh, nothing like the open road." Prince Abdul grinned. "I should do this more often."  
  
"Duuhhhh, time to operate!" The Scottish doctor slurred, chugging from a flask. He hd just jolted himself awake. Behind them, at the mouth of the tunnel, Ron and Abe crawled out of the wreckage and Ron proceeded to beat Abe senseless with a pipe.  
  
Well, things get crazier and crazier?! What else will happen to our heroes on the open road? Will Ron and Abe get the money and run into the Misfits? What of the other kids? Super Deputy? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	7. Madness and Guest Stars!

Misfit Cannonball Run  
  
To Wizard1: Yeah! Despite Ron's smarts, he and Abe can't do anything right! And when some people get drunk, they tend to say and sing weird things to him. I know! I found it weird that my guide book had a page on the Goblin Queen, and mentions Magik, but says zip about it. Check my review for chapter 2 of "The Mutant Massacre" for your questions. BTW, I looked at Amazon.com on old Marvel Comics, and I saw some covers of 80s issues of the Avengers, Spider-Man, and some others. On them were little corners that said "Inferno Continues". Did Inferno involve any other heroes, like Spider- Man and the Avengers?  
  
To Aaron: Glad you liked the moment with Lance and Rictor in the restaurant. What're Todd and Althea up to? Wanda and Xi? Paul and Craig? Ace and "Athena"? Well, I hope to clear that up soon! Enjoy this new chapter!!  
  
To Raliena: Yeah, I figured the Lancester could use a little adoration after the stuff he's been through in his life. What'll happen to everyone else? We'll find out, shall we?!  
  
To Metal Dragon1: I'm glad you like. BTW, college life doesn't often afford time to review, and I kept forgetting. You had Razor and Tusk nailed, and I hope to see more of them soon in "Take the Long Way Home". I can imagine Razor visiting the Institute, and trying to avoid Jubilee!  
  
To Red Witch: Glad you like the chapter! Well, the Inferno storyline did unfold in the 80s so it did naturally become weird. Here's some more madness for ya!  
  
To JCKIDSMART: I do know of Lupin the 3rd, and I have seen some episodes, but it was long ago, and I don't really remember a whole lot about them. Besides, Lupin's a bit crazy.  
  
Chapter 7: Madness and Guest Stars!  
  
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(Miami, Florida)  
  
Ace Starr and everyone's favorite Wolverine clone, X23, had decided to stop off at a local McDonalds to eat. X23, using her assumed name of Athena, waited at the table. Her eyes widened when she saw Ace lug two trays. One had her order, a salad, and the other had what appeared to be 50 Big Macs, and over 20 Super Size Fries, and a Super Size chocolate shake.  
  
"Here's your salad, babe." Ace grinned, putting it in front of the clone.  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you, don't call me oh I give up!" X23 grumbled. She had long given up on trying to get Ace to quit his habit of calling her 'babe'. At least she could take stock that it was what Ace called all pretty girls in his wake. "And are you seriously going to eat all that food? How'd you pay for it?"  
  
"I used a credit card." Ace grinned. Athena looked at the name on the card: Sebastian Shaw.  
  
"How'd you get that?" Athena wondered.  
  
"He visited the Hell House once and I swiped it."  
  
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(New York City)  
  
Sebastian Shaw, the Black King of the Hellfire Club, was about to pay for an item he purchased at a shop when he noticed one of his credit cards was missing.  
  
"Where's my American Express?" He scratched his head in complete confusion.  
  
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(Miami, Florida)  
  
"Ooh-kay." Athena nodded. "And just how are you going to eat all that? I doubt even the Blob could handle that many Big Macs."  
  
"Easy. I open my mouth and chew. One burger at a time." Ace laughed. "Want one?" He stuck a burger in her face. Athena cringed.  
  
"No thank you." She said. Ace shrugged.  
  
"Your loss and more for me!" Ace started chowing down on fries and burgers. What Ace didn't notice was a certain Hellion girl sitting nearby, disguised. Like heck if someone like Monet St. Croix was to let herself be seen in public in such an average place. She smirked in her disguise.  
  
{Acey...} Ace perked up as he heard her voice purr in his head.  
  
"Ace, you alright?" X23 wondered. Ace nodded.  
  
"Fine."  
  
{Aceyy, you haven't forgotten about me, have you? Especially after all those letters I sent you?}  
  
{Uh oh.} Ace thought.  
  
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(Cleveland, Ohio)  
  
"Thanks for helping us out, guys." Althea and Todd said to six teens. One was a boy with long blond hair and a red leather jacket named Ronnie Jones, aka Rip. He had his arm around the waist of a girl with hair like Al's, only with bright yellow streaks instead of electric blue. Her name was Wendy Anderson. They were both dressed like 80's rockers. Another boy had short green hair and was known as Fingers. Another boy, named Tommy, had auburn hair in a ponytail. A third, Tommy's brother Alex, had short black hair. The sixth kid was the former X-Man known as Jubilee.  
  
"Sorry about crashing into your car." Alex apologized. "My brother's a retarded driver." Tommy glared.  
  
"Screw you!" Tommy snapped.  
  
"Screw YOU!!" Alex snapped back.  
  
"THAT'S IT!!!" Tommy leapt on Alex and the Baines Brothers engaged in another one of their infamous brawls.  
  
"I'm sorry, guys." Jubilee sighed. "Ever since those two clowns learned to walk, they've been fist-fighting with each other."  
  
"We're used to that kind of behavior." Althea sighed.  
  
"Hey, you can hang with us until your car gets fixed. Good thing Tommy and Alex's dad is a mechanic." Wendy chuckled. "By the way Al, I love what you did with your hair. Electric blue is so you."  
  
"I had no idea I was a trendsetter." Al laughed.  
  
"Yeah, that's my little Sweetheart of the Sea." Todd grinned.  
  
"Oh God, they're worse than you two." Fingers grumbled at Rip and Wendy.  
  
"By the way, how's Kid--" Todd started, but Fingers grabbed him and covered his mouth.  
  
"Ix-nay on the Id-kay Azor-ray!" Fingers hissed. "Jubes goes crazy whenever he's mentioned!"  
  
"I miss him." Jubes moaned. "Ever since he joined the Avengers, he's not seen much around anymore." She then brightened. "I'm thinking of joining the Avengers myself as their first mutant member! Razor and I will be together forever!" She sighed longingly.  
  
{Poor Bobby} Rip mentally sighed. {Will he ever reveal himself to her?}  
  
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(A severed road in North Carolina)  
  
"Okay, Abe." Ron explained. "We put the tarp over the hole in the road, making it look completed. When the Prince drives over it, he'll fall into the gully, and we'll get the money! Yeah!"  
  
"Hey Ron, you said gully, then money! You rhymed!" Abe grinned.  
  
"Shut up, Salami-Skull! Here he comes!" Ron snapped. The two immediately hid behind a billboard and peeked out. The Prince's car, complete with loud drunken Scottish singing, drove over and safely across the gap in the road. The gangsters' jaws dropped.  
  
"THE $%@#!!!! $%@#!!!! $%@#!!!! $%@#!!!!" Ron screamed. "C'mon!" He and Abe jumped into their car and raced to the tarp. It gave way, causing the two to crash into the gully. "GAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!"  
  
"The Don's gonna kill us."  
  
"SHUT UP ABE!!!"  
  
Well, Ron and Abe screw up again!! What'll happen next?! What's up with the Cavaliers? Who else will make an appearance? What more madness will happen? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!! 


	8. Of Races and Kidnappings!

Misfit Cannonball Run!  
  
To Wizard1: Ah, I see. Kinda like that Infinity Gauntlet thing and the Secret Wars. Glad to answer your questions. I would kinda like to see Wanda wheedle Craig into karaoke. That's be sooooooooooooooooo funny! Yep, Monet St. Croix found Ace. Wildstar is gonna do a whole lot of running! I'm glad you liked the appearances by Shaw and the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers. BTW, at this point, all the Cavaliers know Razor's identity (Jubilee doesn't.). Ron and Abe are real screw-ups, huh? What are the other racers up to? Well, let's find out!  
  
To Red Witch: I'm glad you loved the chapter! Here's some more madness! What'll happen with the Super Deputy? Find out soon!  
  
Chapter 8: Of Races and Kidnappings!  
  
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(Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)  
  
"Wow." Paul grinned as he peeked out the window of the purple DeLorean Craig was driving. "Wow, Craig. Check it out. It's so beautiful! And so much history! Hey, there's the Continental Congress building!"  
  
"Beautiful." Craig half-heartedly grumbled. He was concentrating on driving.  
  
"Hey Craig, did you know that Philadelphia was the capital of America for a while."  
  
"Whoopie." Craig said in the same tone as before. He then heard squeals. "Oh no." He looked outside and his eyes widened. "WHAT THE--?!" A horde of screaming fangirls was racing towards the car. {Jamie, I am going to kill you for your marketing the Misfits!} Craig growled. He was referring to the fact that thanks to Jamie, like the Avengers, the Misfits were a hot market. They had t-shirts, action figures, mugs, and various other items. "Paul, get in the car! Let's go!" Paul quickly ducked in the car, and the Starr Brothers sped off at an amazing speed. They managed to race to a safe crossroad in town, next to a certain red Lamborghini.  
  
"Hi Craig." Wanda grinned cutely at the window, making Craig blush.  
  
"What do you want, Wanda?" Craig groaned.  
  
"Hey Craig, Xi and I wanna make a bet with you and Paul since we're here." Wanda grinned.  
  
"No, I still remember last time." Craig grumbled.  
  
"Aw c'mon, what do you think she'll make you do this time?" Paul snickered. "Dance around in your briefs and a pink shirt like Tom Cruise?" Craig glared at his twin brother.  
  
"Shut. Up. Paul. Now." He warned.  
  
"Ooh, that sounds nice." Wanda grinned.  
  
"FORGET IT!!!" Craig roared.  
  
"Let me finish." Wanda held up her hand. "When the light turns green, we race. We go to the end of the street. If you guys win, Xi and I will bake you some cookies."  
  
"Awwwwwwwwwww!" Xi whined. He preferred to eat cookies, not bake them. "But I want cookies!"  
  
"For Xi, heaven is endless rows of Whack-a-Moles and cookies everywhere." Paul quipped.  
  
"What if you win?" Craig groaned.  
  
"Remember the Viper?" Wanda grinned. Xi burst out laughing.  
  
"Oh, he has to go on another date! Time to bring out the ol' tux again, Craig!" Xi laughed happily. "Oh I shall enjoy hearing stories of Pietro getting beaten."  
  
"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr..." Craig growled as he gunned his engine.  
  
"Gun it, Xi!" Wanda ordered.  
  
"Get ready..." Paul replied as he waited for the light to turn green. It did, and the two cars raced down the road with tires screeching and clouds of white smoke rising into the air. The race lasted a few minutes, but for Craig, it seemed to last forever. The cars raced, looking like two blurs: one purple and one red. The cars passed the "finish line" at almost the exact same time.  
  
"WHOOOOOO!!!!!" Wanda whooped as she jumped out of her car in triumph. "Yeah! I won! I won! I'm the best! Yeah! I'm the best! I'm the best!"  
  
"Sore winner." Craig growled as he exited his car.  
  
"I think over-celebrating is part of Wanda's bloodline." Paul laughed.  
  
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(Acolyte HQ)  
  
"WHOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Magneto whooped. He had just beaten Shiva in a game of chess. "Yeah! Yeah! I'm the best! I'm the best! Who the man? Who the man?! YEAAAAHHHHH!!!! WHOOOOOO BABY!!!!! YEAH!!!!! I won! I rule!!" He started dancing around the table. Shiva groaned.  
  
"All he did was win a stupid chess game." She groaned in disbelief.  
  
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(Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)  
  
"Don't worry Craig." Wanda chuckled. "I won't make you wear any formal stuff."  
  
"Why me?" Craig grumbled.  
  
"I think you have the Starr family charm, just it's not as intense with you as it is with me." Paul grinned.  
  
"Oh God no." Craig gulped. He has seen the trouble that Paul's charms have caused, and like heck if anything like that was going to happen because HE walked into a room! He heard squeals.  
  
"Hey! It's the Misfits!" A crowd started racing towards them, screaming for autographs. The four Misfits' eyes widened.  
  
"Let's get outta here!" Xi screamed.  
  
"We're with you!!!" Wanda, Xi, Paul, and Craig leapt into their cars and raced away!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(The farmlands of New York)  
  
"Okay, this plan is sure to work!" Ron grinned as he hid in a bush with Abe. A pretty girl with long brown hair in a fur coat stood at the road. "We all know the price has a weakness for women. When he sees the lady over there, he won't be able to resist! We can grab him and the money!"  
  
"Oh boy oh boy oh boy!" Abe clapped his hands. "Here he comes!"  
  
"Get ready!" Ron and Abe hid in the bush. The ambulance was about to pass by. On cue, the lady opened her coat, revealing a blue bikini.  
  
"HOLY HOT CAMEL!!!!!" The Prince's voice squealed. He stopped suddenly and backed up to the girl. He grinned at her. "Hello, fabulous American woman with beautiful body! I am the Prince of Princes, the Master of all Deserts, the..."  
  
"The sheik who'll be dead if you don't get out and hand over the money." Ron, with a CLICK, put a gun to the Prince's head.  
  
"How dare you!" The Prince snapped. The Scottish doctor peeked his head out and drooled at the woman. The Prince grabbed the gun and put it at the doctor's head. Ron and Abe grabbed the suitcase full of money and the Prince and dragged him to their car.  
  
"To Vegas!" They cheered.  
  
"Man, Don Keyes'll love us for this!" The Scottish doctor slurred and grumbled as he grabbed the CB radio and slurred into it.  
  
"I fought nekkid and got kidnapped all in Vegas! De prince in Vegas! Hello?"  
  
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(Miami, Florida)  
  
"Yeah, tell me about it." Athena groaned. She had struck up a conversation with a cashier, a girl named Mandy. Behind Athena, the sounds of Ace struggling and trying to get away from a squealing Monet were heard.  
  
"Monet, c'mon!" Ace whined.  
  
"Come here, you sexy beast!" Monet squealed.  
  
"So what should I do?" Mandy asked.  
  
"Just beat the kid with a baseball bat." Athena shrugged. She heard the sounds of screaming from the car.  
  
"ACE!!!! X23!!!! WE GOT A PROBLEM!!!" Siryn's voice came from the car.  
  
"I'll get this one, Ace." X23 went to the car.  
  
"Monet, not in public!!"  
  
"Come back here and give mama some lovin'!"  
  
Hoo boy! Looks like things get crazier and crazier! What madness will happen next? Will the gang be able to save the Prince? Will the Scottish doctor ever stop drinking? Will Ace be able to get away from Monet? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	9. Gathering of Misfits and Allies!

Misfit Cannonball Run!  
  
To Red Witch: What's gonna happen next? Well, we'll find out! You want more Super Deputy? YOU GOT HIM!!!  
  
To Metal Dragon1: Mandy's a bit player. BTW, Kid Razor's powers are supposed to reflect a rocker on stage. I read the new chapter of 'Take the Long Way Home'. LOVE IT!!! Got a suggestion. Have a radio suddenly play Black Sabbath's "Paranoid" at the Institute, then the front door of the Institute gets blown open. Kid Razor walks in coolly, and says:  
  
"Hey, the Kid of Rock wanted to borrow a cup of sugar, and he heard you people are good neighbors."  
  
He then hears a squeal, and Jubilee jumps out of nowhere. She grabs Razor and hugs him hard, and he says:  
  
"Why did the Kid of Rock not see this coming?"  
  
He meets the Professor, says some quips, then says:  
  
"The Kid of Rock needs some help with something in Cleveland, and he heard you guys could help." He sees Scott. "Excuse the Kid of Rock, he just needs to beat this moron up before he goes." He then beats the snot out of Scott.  
  
What do you think?  
  
To Raliena: An explosion? Well, I'll see what I can do. Remind me never to give you any dynamite.  
  
To Aaron: Yeah, Monet's lust for Wildstar knows no bounds. I'm glad you liked the appearance by the Rock 'n' Roll Cavaliers. I think the X-Men will hit the roof when they discover the Misfits are famous celebrities. I do think all that teasing is just Craig and Wanda's way of flirting with each other. I think Xi has a lot of hidden talents.  
  
To Wizard1: I think Bobby's afraid to tell Jubilee about Razor's true identity. C'mon, even the Maximoffs inherited something from their father. Craig hates attention.I had no idea Super Deputy would be such a hit! BTW, PUT UP CHAPTER THREE!!!!!!! NOW!!! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!  
  
To JCKIDSMART: It's hard fitting Duncan and Kelly torture into a racing fic. Trust me.  
  
To Sparky Genocide: I dunno. X23 didn't seem to care. I don't think Craig is ever going to wise up to Wanda's tricks. Wow, everybody loves Super Deputy! I thought it'd just be a goofy idea, but like drunk Scottish Beast, everybody loves Super Deputy! Wow!  
  
Chapter 9: Gathering of Misfits and Allies!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Nebraska)  
  
The East and West Coast Misfits had gathered on a road in Nebraska. Alongside them was Super Deputy and the sheriff (They had pursued Pietro and Terrell halfway across the country), the drunk Scottish doctor, and James Proudstar (He rode with John and Blob). James was staring at Siryn with a look that screamed crush.  
  
"It was the most beautiful thing ever!" The doctor slurred. "She had such great..."  
  
"Whatever." Siryn grumbled. John Proudstar shot a worried look at his younger brother.  
  
"She's preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy..." James sighed at Siryn, silly grin on his face.  
  
"Ooh-key." Blob nodded. "Hey Thunderbird, I think little Jamie has a crush."  
  
"MY NAME IS JAMES!!!!" James Proudstar stomped the ground, creating a small hole.  
  
"Careful James, you don't have full control over your strength yet." Thunderbird warned.  
  
"I want to be a Misfit!"  
  
"Welcome to the club, Proudstar. I know what it's like having a kid brother that's 95% pop and 100% mouth all at once." Jake smirked. Kyle glared.  
  
"HEY!!!" Kyle snapped.  
  
"Anyway, geniuses, we got a big problem on our hands." Althea sighed. "The Prince is in trouble. What do we do?"  
  
"She had nice breasticles!" The Scottish doctor cheered.  
  
"We must bring these foul villains to justice!" Super Deputy proclaimed. "I shall aid you mighty Misfits in defeating these vile villains." He struck a heroic pose. The sheriff whined.  
  
"I don't know this moron, I am not related to this moron, I have never met this moron in my life..." The sheriff grumbled under his breath.  
  
"What do we do now?" Pietro groaned.  
  
"Whaddaya think, stupid?" Wanda snapped. "We go and rescue him."  
  
"But where is he?" Sunfire wondered.  
  
"Veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegasssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!" The doctor slurred. "I need some medicine." He guzzled down a flask. "Och, I feel better already."  
  
"Way to make the Scots look good, lad." Rahne crossed her arms.  
  
"It's the Irish who are portrayed as drunks, lass. Where's me kilt?" The doctor staggered around.  
  
"We're off to Vegas, then." Siryn sighed.  
  
"Are you sure that's wise?" Xi raised an eyebrow.  
  
"Yeah, you got it from a rambling Scottish drunk who thinks he fought for Scottish independence in the nude!" Toad realized.  
  
"Please, I do not want any images of that guys running around naked waving a sword." Wanda pointed at the wandering drunk doctor with her thumb. The doctor was wandering in the background, singing and trying to give a big rock a medical exam.  
  
"Neither do I. Yech!" Ali wrinkled her nose.  
  
"How are going to get to Vegas and still win the race?" Pietro whined.  
  
"The race isn't important now!" Lance snapped.  
  
"Yeah, we still have to rescue the Prince." Fred said. "Odds are he was kidnapped for the money."  
  
"No duh." Pietro groaned.  
  
"Let's go now! They won't be expecting us to follow them right away!" Ace said, running to his car.  
  
"Do you guys do this stuff all the time?" James grinned.  
  
"Yes, we do." Fred grinned.  
  
"Man, another day, another disaster." Pyro groaned.  
  
"Tell me about it." Sunfire agreed. The cars raced off, ready to hit Vegas and save the Prince of Sharbeen.  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(On the outskirts of Vegas)  
  
"Well, well, well." A bald man, bearing a slight resemblance to Telly Savalas, stood in front of one of the infamous ranches of Nevada, flanked by a couple gangsters. Ron and Abe's car drove up and the two gangsters grabbed the prince.  
  
"Let go of me!" The Prince snarled. "You filthy dogs! I'll have you beaten for this!"  
  
"Prince Abdul. How nice to make your acquaintance." The bald gangster laughed.  
  
Uh oh! I think the Prince is in biiiiiiiiiiiig trouble! Can the Misfits save the day and the Prince? What madness will happen next? Can the two Misfit teams and their allies stop Don Keyes and his men? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	10. Of Rescues and Ambushes!

Misfit Cannonball Run!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: I think little James will need more than a tranquilizer around Theresa. Huh, you want to see the Misfits stop over at a burger joint? Well, I'll see what I can do for you. I hope you enjoy this next chapter!  
  
To Wizard1: How did the Sheriff learn Wanda's mantra? I dunno. Maybe he knows what it's like having an annoying brother. Actually, it was Jake who said that line to Thunderbird. Kyle just got mad from it. And where is Monet? Well, you'll find out. By the way, WHERE IS CHAPTER THREE OF THE KAREOKE DANCE PARTY!!!!! I WANNA SEE IT!!!!! PUT IT UP NOWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
To Red Witch: Well, here's a brand new chapter for you! Enjoy the insanity!  
  
Chapter 10: Of Rescues and Ambushes!  
  
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(On the road to Nevada)  
  
Normally, this ordinary-looking road is rather empty. So many would consider it rather unusual to see a fleet of various vehicles drive down this road. Vehicles driven mostly by teenaged mutant superheroes. And not just any teenage mutant superheroes, they were members of the East and West Coast Misfits.  
  
"Hey guys!" Terrell said into his radio. "There's a burger joint nearby. I'm gonna get some eats!" The cheers and noises of orders came from the radio. Pietro jotted down the orders and gave them to the Compton native. The two stopped at the side near a burger joint. Terrell raced in. The cars all stopped so not to leave him behind.  
  
"HURRY IT UP!!!" Blob yelled. The gang watched, and then an explosion occurred and the sounds of loud brawling and screaming came from the joint. One also noticed Duncan Matthews being thrown through a window, than a table landed on him. Terrell zipped out, carrying food!  
  
"The place is full of racists! I barely made it out of there!" Terrell yelped as he gave out food. "Half of them wanted me dead because I'm a mutant, the other because I'm black!"  
  
"Harsh." Ace gulped.  
  
"We gotta eat and run! The Prince needs saving!" Althea yelped. The cars raced off to their intended destination.  
  
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(A ranch on the outskirts of Vegas)  
  
"Well, now what do we do?" Ron asked the bald gangster. He smirked.  
  
"Easy, Ronnie." The bald man laughed. "Now we just contact the King of Sharbeen and tell him to pay up for his son alive."  
  
"But we got the money to pay his debts." Abe scratched his head.  
  
"So nothing wrong with picking up some interest." The bald man chuckled. Outside, Lila, Ali, Lance, Rictor, Siryn, and Rahne were watching through binoculars.  
  
"Okay, we need a plan." Siryn said.  
  
"How about we trash the place?" Rictor grinned. Siryn nodded.  
  
"No way, we don't want to risk it." Siryn sighed.  
  
"Hey I got this one idea." Lance offered. "I saw it in a movie." He outlined his plan.  
  
"I can't sing a note!" Rahne exclaimed.  
  
"I guess it's me, then." Siryn sighed. "Well, me dad said I wasn't a half- bad singer."  
  
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(A few minutes later)  
  
"Okay, Mr. Gomez." The bald gangster glared. "You'd better have a sweet act for the show."  
  
"Hey, these girls are not only pretty, they can sing! Hit it!" Rictor, clad in a green, white, and red tuxedo ordered. He fidgeted with his tie. He preferred leather jackets to suits and ties. A spotlight on the stage turned to Alison, Theresa, and Lila, all dressed like cousins of Barbara Eden on I Dream of Jeannie, complete with veils over their faces. They started singing the Supremes' "Stop! In the Name of Love."  
  
{I hate this song} Lila mentally grumbled. (A/N: She ain't the only one. My sister sings that song all the time, and it gets annoying fast.)  
  
{Man, this is going to do wonders for my singing career.} Ali mentally sighed. {I hope Jamie gets me some real gigs soon, or he's going to get the king of light blasts to his face}  
  
{I want out of here} Siryn mentally moaned.  
  
{This stuff is so uncomfortable.} Randy mentally grumbled as he fidgeted with his tie. While the girls were distracting the gangsters, Lance and Rahne snuck up behind them and knocked each of them out with a chop to the neck.  
  
"Okay, let's go!" Lance waved. The six Misfits raced out of the room, despite some complaints.  
  
"Hey, let me get this tie off!"  
  
"These costumes are ridiculous!" Lila grumbled.  
  
"Hey, not my fault!" Lance groaned. They ran out, but hid at a corner upon seeing a couple guards.  
  
"I got this." Lila grinned. She sauntered out. "Oh boys..." She cooed. "Will you gentlemen be so kind and help me with my bags?" She sauntered away, the guards following into punches from Lance and Randy.  
  
"Man, they have tough jaws." Lance rubbed his knuckles.  
  
"I dunno, man. The guy I hit had more glass in his jaw than a house of mirrors." Randy grinned. "Let's go, the bossman is going to go muy loco when he wakes up."  
  
"Let's grab the prince, then make like bananas and split!" Ali said. They searched the place.  
  
"Where is that royal pain-in-the-butt?" Siryn growled. Lance heard a man's screaming.  
  
"It's him, come on!" The six mutants gathered.  
  
"Hang on, your highness!" Rictor kicked the door down, and the kids couldn't believe what they saw!  
  
"Why am I not surprised?" Lila grumbled, crossing her arms. The Prince was being fawned over by a bunch of scantily-clad women.  
  
"This is stupid!" Ali screamed.  
  
"Can you kids rescue me later? I'm busy." The Prince grinned.  
  
"No time, let's go!" Lance and Randy grabbed the kicking and screaming Prince Abdul of Sharbeen, Master of Deserts, Prince of Princes, and carried him out of the room and into the courtyard. Rahne had grabbed the suitcase full of money next to him and carried it.  
  
"Oh no!" Lila realized as the clicks of automatic weapons sounded and their barrels were pointed at the mutants.  
  
"Y'know, I didn't appreciate the trick, kiddies. Now give me the money and the Prince." The bald gangster warned, Ron and Abe flanking him.  
  
Uh oh! Look like our heroes are in trouble! Will they make it okay? Will they be able to save the Prince? What madness will happen next? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	11. Big, Big Fight!

Misfit Cannonball Run!  
  
To Red Witch: A sissy fight between the Prince and Don Keyes? I dunno, I'll see what I can do. Here's some more madness for you! Enjoy!  
  
To Wizard1: Yeah, Jake said that line. Well, gang needed a distraction and they were desperate! Besides, it happened in "Cannonball Run II" that way. Only difference is, in this story, there are girls in those costumes, not three guys and one of them was really fat! Anyway, WHERE'S CHAPTER THREE OF KARAOKE DANCE PARTY?!?! PUT IT UP!!!!!! PUT IT UP!!!!!! NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!!!!!!!!!! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chapter 11: Big Big Fight!  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(In a ranch outside of Vegas)  
  
"Okay, kids." The bald man said, pointing a pistol at Lila, Avalanche, Dazzler, Wolfsbane, Rictor, and Siryn. "Hand over the prince and the money."  
  
"Money?" Dazzler snickered nervously. "I have no money!" She pitched the suitcase containing the cash prize of one million dollars to the Prince.  
  
"Not me!" The Prince put it in Lance's arms.  
  
"I didn't see any money!" Lance pitched the suitcase to Theresa.  
  
"No money here!" She shoved the case into Randy's chest.  
  
"What money?" Rictor threw it to Rahne. She threw it behind her and kicked it away.  
  
"I have seen no money." Rahne grinned nervously. Abe shrugged.  
  
"They don't have the money, boss." Abe said to the bald man.  
  
"SHUT UP ABE!!!!!" The gangsters all snapped. "YOU ARE A MORON!!!"  
  
"What'd I do?" Abe wondered.  
  
"Oh brother." Lila grumbled under her breath. "Where are those geniuses?" The bald gangster chuckled.  
  
"Cute kiddies, really cute. I got a niece who looks a little like you." He pointed his gun at Alison. "So I'll shoot ya last."  
  
"IF YA SMELLLLLLLLL-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE THUNDERBOLT...IS COOKIN'!!!!!" A wall came down as the Wildfire Brothers' vehicle drove in, followed by everyone else's cars.  
  
"FOUL VILLAINS, YOU ARE FOILED!!!!" Super Deputy crowed from Terrell's car.  
  
"ALRIGHT YOU HIPPIES, Y'ALL ARE UNDER ARREST!!!!" The sheriff pointed a big rifle at the gangsters.  
  
"You have decided to stray from the path of law and order! I highly do not recommend that!" Super Deputy grinned. The sheriff bopped him in the head.  
  
"You're an idiot, you know that?" The sheriff grumbled.  
  
"Okay, pal! Release our friends and the prince!" Althea warned.  
  
"SHOOT THESE PUNKS!!!!!" The bald gangster yelled. The six Misfits ducked, and the gangsters opened fire on the other Misfits, who ducked behind their vehicles. Wildstar, Darkstar, and Starchild fired their beams.  
  
"James, stay down!" Thunderbird snapped at his younger brother.  
  
"I wanna beat up someone!" James whined.  
  
"Join the club!" Kyle grumbled, throwing an electric ball at the gangsters, knocking several of them over. "I disarmed the jabronis!"  
  
"Good work, Kyle!" Siryn grinned. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The Irish girl wailed with her sonic voice, disorienting the gangsters.  
  
"Let's just beat these kids up!" The bald gangster snapped.  
  
"I don't think so!" Lance and Rictor grinned evilly. Using their powers, they created some tremors that made the gangsters scatter and run away, firing their weapons. The mutants and their allies scattered.  
  
"Hey, they shot my shake!" Pietro screamed.  
  
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(St. Louis, Missouri)  
  
While in St. Louis, and fleeing from the sheriff and Super Deputy, Pietro and Terrell had run into, more like run over Duncan Matthews, who was there to visit family.  
  
"HELP ME!!!!" Duncan screamed. The two speedsters had stolen Duncan's clothes, and left him hanging by his boxers from a flagpole. He heard a rip. "Oh no! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" The jock fell thirty stories, and he landed hard on a brick wall. He was straddling. "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He fell off the wall in immense pain. A couple cops pointed their guns at him.  
  
"Okay sicko, you're under arrest for indecent exposure." One of the cops growled. Duncan looked down at himself.  
  
"I need a hospital!" Duncan screamed in a high-pitched voice. "MOMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !"  
  
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  
  
(Back in Vegas)  
  
John and James Proudstar had engaged a couple big gangsters. Thunderbird had slammed one of them into the ground. James mimicked his older brother with his own slam, but he accidentally stepped on the first gangster.  
  
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed in a high pitch.  
  
"Oops, sorry." James cringed. Super Deputy stalked a roof, looking for a bad guy to pounce on.  
  
"Aha!" He grinned. "Duh duh DUUUUUUHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" The "superhero" pounced on a bunch of gangsters that were all on Lila.  
  
"Thanks!" Lila nodded.  
  
"No problem, miss!" Super Deputy grinned. It was one wacky battle. Paul and Craig used their hypnotic powers to make a couple gangsters believe that they were roosters in a cockfight, and they were betting on the outcome. Jake was bashing gangsters left and right with a steel folding chair. Ace drove one gangster crazy by cracking fat jokes. Blob and another gangster were arguing over which pie was the best. Dazzler and Velocity ran around, kicking up wind and light like crazy. One gangster screamed as he tried to get Wolfsbane off his butt. Siryn, Thunderbird, and Sunfire were flying around, raining sound, fire, and lightning. Al used her hydrokinesis to slap some gangsters, and Pyro used his pyrokinesis to create flaming hands to slap gangsters. The sheriff was firing his rifle every which way.  
  
"YEEEEEEE-HAW!!!!!" He whooped. "I ain't had this much fun since that riot in Reno's red-light district!" The Scottish doctor slept in the Prince's car, drooling all over himself.  
  
"Mmm, I love you, Catherine Zeta-Jones..." He sleep-giggled. "Oooh, you cheeky thing..." Monet peeked out from Ace's trunk.  
  
"Just wait until he comes back home, and then my little kitty will be mine, all mine!" She giggled. "Ooh, the things I'll do with you, Acey-Baby AIE!" Toad landed on the trunk hood, then went into another leap, taking a gangster down. X23 was scaring the bejesus out of some other gangsters.  
  
How will this battle end? Will the Misfit teams be able to save the day? Will they be able to save the Prince? Where did he go? Why was the Scottish doctor dreaming about Catherine Zeta-Jones? Will Monet get her claws on Ace? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly! 


	12. Ending!

Misfit Cannonball Run!  
  
To Red Witch: Yeah, I thought that a scene with Fred and a gangster arguing over a pie would get a few hundred honks and giggles. Here's some more madness, craziness, wackiness, and all other forms of general insanity for you in the form of a new chapter! Enjoy!  
  
To Sparky Genocide: Huh, you want to see three dumb gangsters get duped by Blob, Toad, and Pyro? And you want to see the Sheriff go mad because of his hat? Well, I'll see what I can do! Enjoy the insanity!  
  
To Raliena: Is the bald gangster the Kingpin? Nah, he's just a nameless thug. What's wrong with you and dynamite? I heard you like to blow things up. Enjoy this new chapter full of madness I did!  
  
To Wizard1: Hey Wiz, you never reviewed my Super Bowl story "Misfit Bowl"! You should read it! Scott gets kicked in the groin! Again!  
  
Chapter 12: Ending!  
  
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(A ranch outside of Vegas)  
  
"WHOAAAAAAAOAOAOAOAOA!!!!!!!" St. John Allerdyce, Todd Tolensky, and Fred Dukes, the Misfits codenamed Pyro, Toad, and Blob, ran down the porch of a building, three gangsters chasing them.  
  
"Get those freaks!" One called. The three mutants ran into a room. The gangsters pursued them. The lead one there opened the door, and discovered them in drag. However, these three goons weren't the brightest lights in the light fixture.  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The three mutants screamed in girlish voices, covering themselves.  
  
"WHOA!!!! Sorry, ladies." The lead gangster closed the door. "C'mon boys, let's get those idiots!" The three marched away, until they made a realization. "Hey wait a minute!" The three marched back. "Okay you clowns, let's see OH MY GOD!!!!!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" A bunch or real women screamed in their underwear, covering themselves.  
  
"You pervs!" One screamed. They grabbed cans of mace and sprayed away.  
  
"AAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!" The gangsters screamed, covering their reddened, teary faces. John, Todd, and Fred peeked at them from the other side of the building and raced away, laughing. "HOW DID THEY DO THAT?! MY EYES!!!"  
  
"Keep trying boys!" Alison Blaire laughed as bullets bounced off her forcefield. "Now!" Velocity and Kyle blasted the gangsters with wind and thunder. "Whoooo!"  
  
"Put that in yer pipe and smoke it, Jabronies!" Kyle grinned.  
  
"Whoo yeah!" Terrell laughed. Meanwhile, the sheriff was having a laugh.  
  
"WHOO YEAH!!!!" He laughed, blasting his rifle. "WHO DA MAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" A gunshot rang, and his hat flew off. He got mad. Really mad. "THAT'S IT!!!!! NO ONE SHOOT MY HAT!!!!! SHERIFF BLAST!!!!!!!" He roared, firing his rifle everywhere in a mad rage.  
  
"Hey, watch it!" Paul screamed.  
  
"Yipe!" Craig dodged a bullet. "Someone calm him down before he kills one of the good guys!"  
  
"That loony lawman's gonna get us killed!" Xi yelled.  
  
"I'm getting help!" Lila teleported away. A few seconds later, a bunch of jeeps crashed through another wall.  
  
"YO JOE!!!" The Joes hollered. They pointed their guns at the gangsters. The Sheriff ran around screaming about vengeance for his lucky hat.  
  
"Whoa, calm down!" Footloose grabbed the enraged sheriff. "Your aura's way off, man!"  
  
"THOSE #^$*@# SHOT MY HAT!!!! THEY GONNA DIE!!!!" He screamed. Althea snuck up behind the angry sheriff and knocked him out.  
  
"What a baby." Al grumbled.  
  
"Hey, where'd the prince go?" Ace looked around. He also noticed that the money was gone. "Hey! He must've taken the money!" The East and West Coast Misfits all looked at each other. Out of one Joes's radio came the old Menudo song "Like a Cannonball" from the movie "Cannonball Run II". "Oh my God! We still got a race!"  
  
"That million bucks is mine!" The kids all said, then rushed to their cars, taking off as a group. The Joes all watched the kids race off.  
  
"Who do you think'll win?" Hawk asked Trojan. The Malibu Joe Field Commander shrugged.  
  
"I dunno." The Joes all started arguing over who they thought would win, and they even started brawling.  
  
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(The X-Mansion)  
  
"I hope those Misfits all crashed and got blown up. Both versions!" Scott screamed. Jean smacked him. "Ow!"  
  
"They're announcing the results!" Paige announced. The X-Men went to the Common Room and turned the tube to the Joe Network.  
  
"And the winners are...Avalanche and Rictor in the Earthmover!" Quick-Kick announced.  
  
"DAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Scott ran away screaming.  
  
"We take you now to our champions of the first-ever Misfit Cannonball Run!" The show cut to footage of Lance and Randy celebrating.  
  
"WHOOOO!!!!!!!" Lance took the mike. "I'd like to thank God for allowing us to participate in this race, I'd like to thank Kitty for supporting me..." Kitty rolled her eyes with a blush. Peter growled. "And I'd like to thank Piotr Rasputin and Scott Summers for sucking so much!"  
  
"We wish to give them complimentary middle fingers!" Randy grinned. They immediately flipped off the camera.  
  
"Oh, I hate him." Peter growled. Fox laughed.  
  
"Man, I love you guys. Personally, I don't know what either Lance or Peter see in you, Kitty. You're a man-stringer whose mom is pulling a Demi Moore and whose dad is a faACK!!!" Kitty started strangling Foxfire.  
  
"I AM GOING TO BREAK YOUR NECK!!!" She screamed.  
  
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(The Pit)  
  
A celebration was being held for the first Misfit Cannonball Run winners, Lance Alvers and Randy Gomez, the East Coast and West Coast Misfit codenamed Avalanche and Rictor.  
  
"We won!" Lance grinned, holding up a trophy made of steel and covered in gold paint. Randy had a similar one.  
  
"And we beat Lila by a nose." Randy chuckled. The King and Prince of Sharbeen watched. Actually, the Prince was getting slapped around by all the female Joes. The King and General Whithalf were talking.  
  
"Well, we really have to go." The King smiled. "Thank you for everything, General. It was good seeing you again." The King walked off. "I don't know why my sister's in love with that nut." He found himself getting kissed. By Firestorm's drunk monkey, Blast Radius. "Huh. Now if only my wife could kiss like that!"  
  
Well, the race is over! What madness will happen in the future? Who will the West and East Coast Misfits meet and fight in the future? Will the Prince ever stop womanizing? Find out soon! Suggestions needed badly! This is L1701E, saying hope you enjoyed and signing off!" 


End file.
